The Red Journal
by Eternal Ending
Summary: Ever wonder what everyone's favorite Red Rider say behind close doors? Well, keep wondering. But you may read Murtagh's stolen journal page. All Murtagh's thoughts, his dreams, his wishes, all in the palm of your hand. Can you pass that up? R&R.
1. Do you really care?

Do you really care?

About what happens to me?

Because I really need to know.

Before I take this fall.

You don't understand.

You can't last a day in my shoes.

No one can but Murtagh and Thorn.

Not Eragon and Saphira.

Tell me little brother.

Have you ever been tortured by a part of your friend.

And had him be forced to watch.

Thorn and I do all the time.

Have you ever?

Spent a night in a dungeon,

Bleeding to death from a brutal beating,

And then the very next day had dinner with the man responsible?

Maybe no or rancid meat and bread on that terrible night

And steaks and caver the next?

I guess I just hope

You'll never see what happens to me.

Least you feel the same treatment

As I do now.


	2. THORN IS RED

**T**orn,

Am I.

**H**eartless,

Is he.

**O**kay,

I am not.

**R**uthless,

Was I.

**N**ailed,

To the floor are we.

**I**n,

Trouble we'd be.

**S**ad,

Shall I ever be.

**R**adiant,

He is.

**E**ager,

He feels.

**D**ead,

We will soon be.


	3. A big brother's loving wish

Once, I was told,

New things always unfold,

Life changes every day,

Even if it doesn't always go your way,

But is seemed it never will,

Only down on my hill,

Little did I know,

It just goes to show,

Love is full of power,

Even when life is sour,

You are now my motivation,

To forever change our messed up nation,

Brother, I may not be able to do much,

But I'll try hard and make it as such,

You won't have to run any which way,

If it's the last thing I do before my final day,

Never have I felt so strong,

I loved you all along,

Mom's not here anymore,

So in her place I shall settle the score


	4. Untrue endings

Thousands of questions,

Yet to be asked,

Yet we shall forever be,

In silence.

Nothing to hear at all,

No talking,

Yet we hear each other's

I'm sorries.

You long to punch me,

To hug me,

Yet all you do is stare,

Endless glare.

Looking at me with hate,

With love,

Twisted emotions intertwine,

All in second.

Suddenly it comes.

**Charge.**

**Fight.**

**Pain.**

**Scream.**

**Fall. **

**Death. **

**Tears.**

_**Murder. **_

**Over.**

Awakened, it was but a dream,

But your eyes,

_My_ eyes leave burns in my skull,

But just a dream…

_**Right?**_


	5. I shall ever love thee

My love,

I loved you from the moment I first saw you,

And still do,

You are more graceful then a dove,

Yet still, I cannot be with you,

It just causes me pain,

To think of you slain,

And at such a young age too,

That shall never be,

I love you girl,

Even if thinking of you makes me hurl,

I shall ever love thee


	6. Questions of a mother's motives

Mother, why'd you marry father?

If not just to cause me misery?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mother, Why'd you have to have me?

So the devil could have a son?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mother, Why'd you leave?

To cause us pain?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me of brother?

So I couldn't lookout for him, dear mother?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mother, why'd you have to die?

To leave me with this crazy guy?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mother, why'd I have to be a rider?

To become as a spider?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mother, why do I have so much pain?

So it feels better when I'm finally slain?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

Mother, why me?

Why not another?

Mother, why'd didn't you tell me?

Why didn't you tell me?

I now know why you did all the things that you do.

It's because you loved us as I love you.


	7. Save us

**Inspired by Cartel's Save Us**

**

* * *

**

Can you save us?

Don't' just gawk at me

I once knew you

I mean, I thought I did

The way you look at me

I mean the way you glare

I can't keep doing this

You really should know

It's bad enough what we mean

What we represent isn't exactly whole

I mean, to be pushed onto the brink

Of self and worldly destruction

Just say the word

Say you'll try

If you can't,

Who can save us

I can't keep doing this

I can't keep waking up to this hollow life

A shell of what I could be

A piece of what I am

You were the one person

I could always rely on

I thought you wouldn't

Take my betrayal at face value

But you just stare at me

Just look at me as if I have a choice

Can you save us?

Can you rescue us?

I feel like a damn damsel in distress

For asking you, but who else?

Who will save us?

Can you save us?

Can you save me?


End file.
